Notes from the Music Teacher, part 2.

When music teachers get the blues

Dear Mrs. Zimmerman,
Our orchestra does not include harmonica and Robert (Or Bobby or Zimmy) does not meet our standards for singing. I suggest you urge him to find another interest other than music.
Signed:
The Music Teacher

Dear Mrs. Johnson,

I regret to inform you that Robert is not doing well in music class. His voice is scratchy, and he does not widen his soft palate. He shows up late to class regularly, claiming that he has "hellhounds on his trail", or that he had to stop at "the crossroads." Your son has potential, and I think that if he applies himself he could be a successful vocalist.

Signed:
The Music Teacher

Dear Mrs. Johnson,
Your son is failing geography class. Please explain to Robert that Chicago is not in California, nor is it prefaced by the phrase "Sweet Home."
Signed:
The Geography Teacher

Dear Mrs. Price,
Your son Ray is doing well in choir class. I urge you to let him take voice lessons. If he applied himself, he could be a successful opera singer.
Signed:
The Music Teacher

Dear Mrs. Charles,
I had to rebuke your son Ray at his piano recital. He moves back and forth too much, and insists on punctuating Beethoven's Piano Concerto in C minor with shouts of "what I'd say." Unless he changes his behavior, I will have to drop him as a student.
Signed:
The Piano Teacher

Dear Mrs. Penniman,
Please tell little Richard that if he continues to scream often he will damage his vocal chords. Please also tell him that it is not appropriate for choirmembers to shout "Oooh, my soul!" at the beginning of each piece. If he continues to do so I will have to remove him from choir class.
Signed:
The Choir Director

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Berry,
Your son shows no aptitude for the fine art of guitar playing. Despite all that I try to teach him, Charles continues to insist on playing the same three chords over and over again. I think he would be better suited to another hobby, such as origami or ultimate frisbee.
Signed:
The Guitar Teacher

Teacher to Principal
Young master Hewson continues to insist on signing his papers as "Bono", so I have sent him over to you for discipline.

Dear Mrs. King,
I am sending your son BB to the school psychologist. He appears to have a severe case of depression. He tells the teacher that "every day he gets the blues", and refuses to do his homework because "the thrill is gone." I suggest that we put him on some Ritalin to deal with his depression problems.
Signed,
The Principal

School Psychologist to Principal
I believe that young BB's problems with depression are related to problems with his home life. He says that "nobody loves him but his mama, and she might be jivin' too." I suggest increasing the dosage of Ritalin.

Dear Mrs. Burnett,
Please inform Chester that his name is not "Howlin' Wolf."
Signed,
The Principal